First day of school! Everyone was so excited! In the years past I have done a fun little tradition where I put a “surprise” on the doorstep and ring the doorbell. The surprise is usually some school supplies, a treat, and a note that says:
“Honk, Honk! Beep, Beep! The Magic School Bus is here! To bring you wishes for an amazing year!!!”
Our kids have so much stuff, they don’t need one more item to find a place to store it! And I am tired of the clutter. So I wasn’t sure what to do? And I was limping across the finish line of summer. It has been a hard one. I decided I’d get them all their favorite breakfast cereal!
Magic School Bus: Check
Breakfast: Check
Win Win!!!
Wednesday morning everyone was excited and ready to go! Dylan and Cody went to do mowers and so we waited and waited for them to come home so we could do pictures! Stockton wanted to ride the bus, but we were too late after we waited for the boys! So we took photo’s, and I shuttled Austin and Stockton to the Elementary School and Meg to the Jr. High!
I cry every year. I am so ready for routines and schedules, and I love my children deeply, but am a better mom when I can think and do the necessities without being pulled a million other directions! Meg was riding in the car with me the other day and said, “I bet you are so excited for us to go to school!” And in the same conversation she told me Marisa said she doesn’t know how I do it, and Meg said something to the effect of, “Ya, she pretty much hates it.”
Yikes, I have led everyone to believe I hate my job. I haven’t shown up the way I want to. I told Meg and Austin I was very smart and could have done anything I wanted. I had plans to be a Dr. or a flight nurse, but I chose to be a mom. My family is the most important thing to me in this world. Unfortunately stress and life has beaten me down, and I have created a bad habit of just pushing through. Just surviving until the next “big” event. I have told myself a story that I am a victim to them and Jarred. That I am just the slave, cook, taxi. That I never have a say or any “control”. I am seeing that is what I look for the most. Those are all stories.
I chose to be a mom and stay home with my children.
As I took the picture of my kids, I got a little weepy. There in front of me were 5 amazing humans. All so different, yet the same. I am living my dream right now. I am watching these 5 people become who they are meant to become. We are struggling together, laughing together, and loving. I am in a partnership with the one who knows EXACTLY what they need to learn to return to Him. I always feel so much pressure to prepare them for this world. But I will never be able to prepare them for everything. They’ll have to figure it out. Just as I have done, and my parents did. And that’s OK.
The BEST thing I can do is be here for them as they learn and grow, stumble and fall, stand back up and try again. Just Love them.
Here’s to another great school year full of learning, growth, craziness, slips, falls, laughing, tears, failures, and triumphs! Because after all,
